Q: Hello …#36. How would you describe yourself–Narcissist, Psychopath, Sociopath, or a person with Anti-social personality disorder (ASPD) sometimes defined by experts as both Psychopath and Sociopath. Are there differences?
A: I’ve been diagnosed as a Sociopath, but I actually prefer, “covert Narcissist” which is not a disorder at all, it’s a trait. Hollywood often interchanges the labels, Psychopath and Sociopath, and the DSM (the book which contains the diagnostic criteria for mental illnesses) defines ASPD as both but the differences are significant: psychopaths are born, sociopaths are formed and ASPD’s exhibit marked dangerous behavioral characteristics the criminal justice system uses to determine whether an ASDP should be paroled or sentenced to death. Narcissists have characteristics that make them different.
Q: You mentioned “covert Narcissist”? Why do you prefer that term?
A: Sociopaths have no empathy, no comprehension of what someone else experiences and no awareness of how their actions impact others. A Narcissist, on the other hand, is never wrong. In fact they’re angered by the mere suggestion that they’ve done something wrong. A “covert Narcissist” is more insidious. They mimic empathy but their actions telegraph their actual feelings.
Q: So watch what they do not what they say.
A: Exactly.
Q: They have intent.
A: Yes. Covert Narcissists are completely self-absorbed, like Narcissists. They’ll say they care about you, love you but their actions won’t support their words. They’ll scream and yell at you and mess with your thoughts until they make you believe you’re the source of the problem. They’ll break you down, break your spirit until you’re depressed, isolated, run down and then they’ll move on.
Q: I’m still having trouble understanding how they’re (you’re) different from a Sociopath?
A: A covert Narcissist (CN) is a more dangerous kind of Sociopath—the key distinction between the two is intent. A CN, like a Sociopath, has a public and private persona, but the actions for a CN are premeditated. Unlike a Sociopath who has no awareness of the impact of his actions, a CN is aware and expert at acting and being what you want them to be. A narcissist doesn’t care what you value, their motto is “this is my world and you’re just living in it.” A SP wants your pity; she’s always the victim, it’s always everyone else’s fault. A Narcissist doesn’t care.
Q: What do you do for a living?
A: I’m your typical SP/covert-Narcissist, hidden in plain sight; accomplished, never been to prison, a CEO, lawyer, judge, doctor, surgeon.
Q: Anyone and everyone with a higher education?
A: (laughs) I’m just like you except that I feel things differently. I have emotions others don’t recognize and so it appears I have none. In the professions I just described, an SP can make decisions uninhibited by emotions; they’re critical thinkers in high stress environments. They just can’t connect with other people so it can be lonely. This is the Mask people often associate with SP’s. They masquerade and conform to blend in but at the end of the day they shed that Mask and become themselves.
Q: Beware the person behind the costume?