As I prepare for trial in a couple of weeks (and realize my client will be in absentia) I fleetingly consider whether I should design a cardboard version of her, or drag in a mannequin to place in her chair…. thought I’d share some funny courtroom dialogue with you:
Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for breathing?
A: No.
Q: So, then is it possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
A: No.
Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
Q: But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?
A: It is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere.
And my absolute favorite …
Defendant: Judge, I want another lawyer, because this one is incontinent.